The Hardest Thing...

My Darlings...Sorry for being late with our last--hate this word as I'm not good at handling the feeling attached to the word--entry of our journal. I have no excuse for that. My head gone blank and I couldn't get myself to write just about anything. Here I am though and I like us to share about this--the hardest thing in my life. Don't forget to use adjectives or adverbs where possible na kha.

Many years ago, nothing in my life was hard but getting myself to write my thesis. I finally quit the job I love in Bangkok just to concentrate on writing the thesis. Part of the reason was that I, deep down inside, didn't believe I couldn't make it. Eventually, I completed it and that was the day I felt the true liberty. Time has gone by and today I'm facing the thing I sort of believe I...I don't know...see, it's hard to accept that I may not make it. That thing is 'quitting coffee'. I may have to finally admit it's the hardest thing in my life for I remember quitting it a few times already, but I kept coming back after a few months. This time things started last Friday when I got on a bus to Chiang Mai in the morning and didn't have time for my coffee. On the bus, I slept all the way until I arrived in Chiang Mai in the afternoon. Then I started feeling a bit of a headache and it was worse with each second passed by, but there was nothing I could do as my friends were driving me to a mall. The headache got so strong that I ended up with a couple of tablets for I couldn't bear it any more; it was like an invisible powerful hand was squeezing my skull. I then thought--This is not fair. My body can't protest me like this because I didn't mean to neglect feeding her with her favourite drink--. From that point, I, once again, determined to quit the drink I saw as the nectar of satan. And here I am, a not so well-functioned Supin, a drowsy Supin, and a weak Supin who is struggling and striving not to surrender to the drink black as hell but sensual as waves foam alluring the morning sunlight.

Work of the Mind

It's around this time of year--again--when I have a strong feeling that "I can't be here. I need to go. I have to leave. I want to set out for a travel." The feeling was so strong that I submitted a resignation letter once already. I'm still here though and the feeling returned a few weeks ago: I felt the urge to leave for somewhere. In my quiet morning today, I found the pictures that I like to share with you. When I saw them; many things, many thougts ran around inside of my head like a rat. I like you to imagine yourself being in the picture--only one (male for boys and female for girls)--and describe to me what you are thinking (or thinking about) or how you are feeling. Here, it won't be a recall of an event like many of you like to do anymore. It is what's inside your head, the work of the mind right at the moment you are standing there in the picture...in place of the man or the woman. Don't forget to use adjectives or adverbs to help you convey your message.

The Season in My Heart

Dry season, for me, is the most charming season since--in one summer--I've seen the picture when my friend and I drove on Isaan route some years ago. That picture has lodged in my mind since then. The scene of dry fields on both sides of the road rolling along us while we were driving to Nong-Khai was common. Just as I got a bit bored with the same scene for a few hours already, the picture of an elder sitting on a veranda of a shanty looking out to a barren field emerged. The picture was just beautiful for it brought to me, forthwith, the atmosphere of solitude and desolation. With that one picture I could feel--and never before in my life--so lonely, hopeless, and sad. The dry brown rice field scorched in the May sunight told a story of an abandoned, deserted, and desperate life. The life that was approaching twilight with soft breath. The life that belonged to the olds and no one cared.

My Impression

My Darlings,

Sorry for not having time to share with you this week, so you have to go by yourself this time.

I like you to talk about one thing; either a place, food, book, gift/present, etc., (not a person) which imprinted on you (good/bad, positive/negative, beautiful/ugly) the pictures or feelings.

Select and use adjectives to describe the thing and your feeling to help me see the pictures in your mind na kha.

Love
sp